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Good Idea Fairy-in-Chief orders the Pentagon to put on a massive military parade

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The Good Idea Fairy has left the platoon, gotten himself elected to high office, and is now ordering that same platoon to march around Washington, D.C. in their spiffy uniforms alongside tanks.

That’s right: President Donald Trump in January told the top generals and defense secretary that, despite budget issues, possible war with North Korea, an ongoing cluster-fuck of a war in Afghanistan, and an impossible fight in Syria, we need to prioritize having a parade in the middle of downtown D.C. with tanks and airplanes.

And by the way, these big formations of military might remind everyone of China and Soviet Russia, but I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA. There was no collusion, believe me.

The Washington Post broke the story, which was later confirmed by both the White House and the Pentagon (a spokesman said they were “looking at options.”)

Trump, who has the attention span of a four-month old kitten, apparently got the idea for having a big parade after seeing the one put on for him in Paris. “The marching orders were: I want a parade like the one in France,” a military official told The Post.

“President Trump is incredibly supportive of America’s great service members who risk their lives every day to keep our country safe,” White House spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders told The Post. “He has asked the Department of Defense to explore a celebration at which all Americans can show their appreciation.”

Of course, Sanders has identified a real problem in this country. There just simply aren’t enough Americans thanking service members for their service whenever they see them. We need to spend millions on a big parade so people can see tanks rip up the streets of Washington as Marine lance corporals roll their eyes and join #TheResistance because of this bullshit.

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