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Trump rarely reads his daily intelligence briefing since he doesn’t read good


President Donald Trump, who is like, a very smart person, rarely reads the highly-classified President’s Daily Brief, which I assume is because he is known as a person who doesn’t read good.

Instead of reading those snooze-fests of highly-classified shit that only a tiny subset of people in the world have access to, the president has been getting only an oral briefing in the Oval Office, according to The Washington Post.

But hey, not to fear citizen! The president just likes to take in his information in a different way, according to administration sycophants, and he doesn’t really need to dive any deeper into conflicts, statecraft, and the most secretive dealings of the government in order to effectively make decisions about the security of the United States.

That would require reading things usually happening in foreign places, and those things unfortunately do not make mention of the name Donald J. Trump. Boring!

“You know, I’m, like, a smart person,” Trump said in a “Fox News Sunday” interview in December 2016. “I don’t have to be told the same thing and the same words every single day for the next eight years. It could be eight years — but eight years. I don’t need that.”

Absolutely right. No need to follow up on things mentioned during an oral briefing, since it’s not like the president is ever criticized for overlooking important intelligence amid the hindsight of a devastating attack on America.

“I like bullets or I like as little as possible. I don’t need, you know, 200-page reports on something that can be handled on a page,” Trump told Axios shortly before taking office, yet he doesn’t even read, you know, a single page.

Per the Post, the president has been receiving his oral daily intelligence briefing right around 11 a.m., typically every two to three days. That’s a change from earlier in his administration, when the briefing happened around 9 a.m.

Again, and I can’t stress this enough: The president is waiting until almost lunch to get what is arguably the most important briefing of his day. And then he doesn’t read up any more on it, since his intellectual curiosity is apparently just short of my golden retriever puppy.

Although Trump doesn’t find it a priority to read up on the most important intelligence of the day, fortunately he still finds time in his busy schedule to sit on his ass for three hours nearly every morning to watch Fox & Friends and offer live rage tweets to millions of Americans.

Thank you for your service and sacrifice, Mr. President.

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